scouts-l Mail Archive for June of 2000: Wanted: One Hiking Staff...
Tue Jun 27 2000 - 21:23:38 CDT
I know personal requests are somewhat taboo here on the list, but I just
have to see if yall kin provide me with what I am looking fer...
Wanted: One Hiking Staff. The successful hiking staff will have many
qualities needed by a Bobwhite on any particular occasion. To begin with it
must be quite stout, made of Ash or Hickory with an equivalent strength and
corrosion inhibition of 440 Stainless Steel. It must be a great electrical
insulator and conductor as the need arises and equipped with an mandatory
optional power supply capable of delivering 18000 joules of protection to
your Staff Integrated PC in case of any brain storms. The Staff Integrated
PC is fully Win2K compliant with a satellite uplink direct to Scouts-L. The
full four wheel drive (rear only) transmission is powered by a 700 CID
Cummins diesel that operates on diesel, gas, buddy burners or even camp gas
(if you can manage to bottle it). In a pinch you can even get it going with
flint and steel! The built in water purification plant can easily supply
water for a small city and in backflow mode, will even treat it's sewage.
The Manually selected semi-automatic crossover bearings enable the Scout or
Scouter to use it in Tigers, Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, Venturing, Explorers,
Scouter and DE mode. Setting it to "DE" puts the Hiking Staff into a stealth
mode, so various Scouts and Scouters will think you are not doing anything
at all worthwhile. Of course it needs to be able to light up a small stadium
(like Candlestick Park) and have a high velocity Stereo Phonic PA system
that transmits what you really wanted to say in the first place but forgot
while trying to use the thing. This way no one will have to read your mind.
The standard 48 cup coffee maker and clothes washer is an option I would be
willing to consider. Of course the entire assembly must weigh no more than 9
ounces, and be easily collapsed to fit in your back pack... BTW did I tell
you what I wanted in my Back Pack yet???
I used to be a Bobwhite... NECS-59
I used to be a Knot-Head... SSD-20
Boy Scout Roundtable Commissioner
Central Florida Council, Semoran Springs District