scouts-l Mail Archive for June of 2000: What do You say to a Parent of a Scout who will not make Eagle?
Mon Jun 26 2000 - 10:48:29 CDT
So help me to find a way to help this parent understand that her son
will not be an Eagle Scout, but that I am sure he will go on to many
wonderful things with his life?
Usually when people are angry it's because they are afraid of something. You
may have to think about it for awhile, but you can usually figure it out.
Maybe she told all her family he would be Eagle, and now that he's not she's
afraid she'll look like a bad mom, or a mom who is out of touch with her kid,
or ??? Maybe she's broke and was really counting on an Eagle scholarship for
college, and is afraid his options will be reduced? Maybe she told him he had
to get Eagle or else he would/wouldnot....... (fill in the blank)..... but
now she doesn;t want to go thru with thte threat, and she's afraid she'll
lose effectiveness with him? Who knows?
I would invite the mom to come over for a cuppa tea, and sit down with her.
Let her vent. Take out the requirements for Eagle (use the handbook, not the
requirements book--- you don't have to say it, but she'll get the idea that
she ought to have looked in her son's book herself). See if she can come to
the undesrstanding that he will not have the MB's done in time ON HER OWN.
(The "holding the position" issue aside-- you can't require more than
"holding it" as I am sure you will hear loud and clear)
Now it's time to commiserate. <Maybe by now you've figured out what she's
Point to the many exemplary men IN SCOUTING that she knows who wre never
Scouts, or were but did not want to complete their Eagles as youth. Praise
her kid for his (very real) accomplishments. Let her grieve, because it
sounds as if she is. Keep saying what you said--
this rank has to be something that he wanted him. When I mentioned to her
night that this was his responsibility and that he knew he had not
fulfilled his commitments, she would not listen.
I am sure he will go on to many
wonderful things with his life
"Broken record" this until she gives up or gets it. She will.
SA T47 Sandwich MA
Cape Cod & Islands Council
Abake MiSaNaKi Lodge #393
NSJ 1997 Nat'l Health & Safety and going in 01!
I useta be an Eagle...