scouts-l Mail Archive for April of 2000: Re: SURNAMES
Bruce E. Cobern (bec@PIPELINE.COM
Sat Apr 15 2000 - 22:27:25 CDT
> > that adult prefers to be called something else, in which case it is
> good manners to use that alternate.>
> What I haven't seen here in this debate is how the parents of the
> Scouts feel. My boys were taught early on that adults were called
> Mr., Mrs., etc.
I'm not sure why this discussion has gone on so long, but its time for me
to throw in my nickel's worth. I don't believe anyone has said that it
should be the youth who determine how an adult is addressed. I believe
everyone has felt that this is a decision to be made by SOME adults, but
the question has been which adults and what the proper decision of those
adults should be.
Well, I believe that if you are going to be courteous, you need to respect
the wishes of the one you are being courteous to. Period. Full stop.
Thus, if I prefer to be called Bruce to Mr. Cobern, which I do, then it
would be discourteous for anyone, adult or youth, to continue to call me
Mr. Cobern after they have been informed of my preference. And I believe
that if a parent insists that their child continue to refer to me that way,
then the parent is being discourteous.
I have gone through this, both in Boy Scouting and in youth hockey, where I
refereed for a number of years. In all places I requested that I be
referred to by my first name, and was perfectly willing to explain to the
parents who got upset at their sons for doing so that it was at my request.
I believe it is up to each individual to decide how he wishes to be called.
And, like others have said, I believe there is zero relationship between
the honorific, if any, and the respect given.
Bruce E. Cobern
Founders District, Queens Council, NY