scouts-l Mail Archive for April of 2000: Intro Ben Dibble
Ben Dibble USG PSG (dibble@ZK3.DEC.COM
Wed Apr 05 2000 - 09:31:30 CDT
I'm Ben Dibble, CM of Pack 21 in Hudson NH, USA. I'm an Eagle, and have
been a Den leader for 4 yrs, then moved on to Cubmaster. I've been to
Camp Carpenter for 5 years in a row with our Pack. I have a wonderful wife,
who is doing advancements for the Pack and keeping me in line. I have two
great boys, one 1st class, one Bear. Both my older brothers made Eagle.
I'm very proud of our Pack. We have a busy, but not insane, calendar. You
can see it on our web site at http://www.angen.net/~dibble/pack21.html
My topic today:
I would encourage you to teach your boys to make proper *choices.*
When you consider the life that our children have ahead of them, you
can pick a lot of things to teach them. How to drive. How to read. How
But step back a moment. Sure, the "how to" is important, but the *deciding*
if or when to do something is, in my opinion, more important.
It's too late to be teaching proper choices when they are turning 16 next
week and are asking if they can "borrow the car keys?"
Plan ahead, be prepared, and look for the "logical outcome."
First and foremost, YOU have to be prepared to let the boy actually make
the chioce, and then *LIVE WITH IT*. If this is a dangerous situation, this
is not the time for a lesson in choices.
While at Carpenter this summer we gave the boys in the pack choices as much
as possible. In the morning they were requested to have their tent flaps
up and their tent "reasonably" clean. Several times boys would come to
me and ask if they could go fishing.
"Sure, you can go fishing, after you have your tent flaps up and your
equipment cleaned up. It's YOUR CHOICE, you can go fishing as soon as you
CHOOSE to have your duties done. If YOU CHOOSE not to clean up, YOU ARE
CHOOSING not to fish."
Note that this takes this away from a power situation. Me, Mr. Dibble, is
not FORCING THEM TO CLEAN THEIR TENT, they are choosing to, cause they want
something else. This is a situation where I _wanted_ them to do something.
This is a good one. Again, I'm at Carpenter, this time with Boy Scouts.
We're walking out of camp towards the car down near the sports field. One
of the Scouts says, "I wonder what would happen if I hit that car with a
I paused a second and said this,
"Well, it's YOUR CHOICE. But this is what would happen.
We'd have to stay here till the owner showed up, and they you'd tell them
what you did. And then we'd have to call your Dad, and I'm guessing he'd
not be too happy. And maybe you'd have to pay for fixing the car. And who
knows, maybe you'd get grounded or something. But I'm perfectly happy to
wait here with you while all this happens. IT'S YOUR CHOICE."
Now you and I both know why he said that. He was testing me to see if I'd
go up the flue with at "WHAT ARE YOU, NUTS!!!!" type of response. And I
think I surprised him. :^)
One final thing. This last example also illustrates that I was willing
to TAKE THE TIME to see the situation through to the logical outcome.
So often kids do stuff because *they know* we're in a hurry, and won't
take the time to either let them clean up the spill, or otherwise see
what will happen.
thank you for choosing to read this,