Scouts-L Mail Archive for December of 1999: How to bake a fruit cake.
How to bake a fruit cake.
Charles W. Pourciau
Sun, 5 Dec 1999 11:29:10 -0600
Here's the traditional annual fruitcake recipe. (You've probably seen
this last year, and the year before)
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
2 cups chopped pecans
1 gallon Southern Comfort whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table... Whatever
you can find. Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 650 degrees or to 900 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the
turner. Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed. Who likes fruitcake anyway?