scouts-l Mail Archive for November of 1999: Re: Can we help too much?
Kirk and Nena Barley (kirk-and-nena-barley@EROLS.COM
Sun Nov 28 1999 - 09:12:10 CST
This is a philosophical discussion, so the answers are not related to
us, but to how we perceive the est way to grow Great Boys!
I take a flexible approach. Some boys are aggressive about their
advancement, while most are passive and need some level of prodding. If
I find that a boy needs to be weaned from assistance to grow, then I am
firm in making him work what ever wickets my Troop has established. I
have had a number, including my sons, who would never make it past First
Class if their advancement was totally dependent upon their initiative.
Boys often are road blocked at key points and I feel that it is our
responsibility to assist each achieve as much as we can, so long as we
do not become codependent, feeding the boys weakness. I feel that it is
the responsibility of the PL, SPL, ASM, SM and Advancement Chair to
ensure that every boy gets their Scout Master Conference and BOR as soon
as practicable after they complete their requirements. We schedule one
each month so it is easy on everyone, but will flex if a boy really
needs on sooner. If we make it harder, yes we have a boy to blame for
his own situation, but that is not usually success is it.
A personal example. The Marine Corps had me 16 hours away from my
family for a year. My son joined his Troop then as an AOL. It took
them 9 months to sign him off as a Scout! They said that he kept
falling short of their requirements (management, tracking, interest?).
As a 5th-6th grader he went to Scouts for the meetings, fun and
camaraderie, not advancement. He did quit and went to a Troop that,
though tougher, at least had his interest in mind and he made Star in a
year. He's working his Eagle project now, and still takes a little
adult motivation, but he will be a success in his mind and mine.
Virginia Beach UMC
Virginia Beach, VA