Scouts-L Mail Archive for May of 1999: Re: Problem leader, I need help
Re: Problem leader, I need help
Sun, 2 May 1999 11:10:21 -0400
I think this has gone way beyond worrying about a tactful solution. What you
are describing is an out-of-control person that cannot control their temper
or language, neither of which are acceptable in a "safe haven" setting.
Cussing out another adult in front of a group is just not acceptable
behavior. You have also indicated that she has had other outbursts. Even
if she were to promised to behave, the chances are probably good that sooner
or later she would lose it again.
Your chartering organization is responsible for providing quality leaders to
deliver the Scouting program to the youth served by the unit. You need to
have a candid conversation with the Chartering Organization Representative
about this issue and let the COR handle the matter. The COR in such a case
would be well advised to remove the individual from any position of
leadership in the unit and may want to go so far as to request that she not
attend any gatherings of the unit.
When it gets to the point that you are thinking of leaving and other parents
too, then the problem is clearly more serious than worrying about being
tactful with this "lady" if you want to call her that.
You have a critical situation where the welfare of the group as a whole is
imperiled by this one individual. We all hate conflict, but sometimes it is
much better to confront a difficult situation. Having a healthy number of
parents pull out of the Pack to avoid confrontation solves nothing and in
the end hurts the boys who lose the chance to enjoy Cub Scouting.
This lady may need professional intervention to assist her in dealing with
her emotional problems. This far beyond what you can do as a leader. Again,
while people may want to be charitable toward her and give her chances, you
have to ask what the cost is. You also need to be careful that the group
members do not become enablers for her behavior by allowing it to go
unchecked. There are some times when despite wanting to help and to be
kind, you have to make hard calls. This is one of them. What's best for the
young boys in this Pack? I think you and the other parents know the answer.
Mike Bowman a/k/a Professor Beaver (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Webmastering in the Scouting Spirit from Alexandria, VA