Scouts-L Mail Archive for April of 1999: Re: Eagle Court Parent Dilemma
Re: Eagle Court Parent Dilemma
Fri, 16 Apr 1999 17:39:29 -0400
From: >Auntie Beans SA T47 Sandwich MA
To: SCOUTS-L@LISTSERV.TCU.EDU <SCOUTS-L@LISTSERV.TCU.EDU
Date: Tuesday, April 13, 1999 9:51 AM
Yes, I've had many Eagle CoH with divorced parents.
>There is a boy in my troop, oh, OK, so it's my kid, who will be
>Eagle COH (yay!!) for summer/fall. Common problem: divorced parents.
Congratulations to all.
I've snipped your original post a lot to get to the main points.
>Son wants me to be in uniform and have some speaking part in the
>which is OK w/ me because I think it's his call and I'll do what he
>this one <G>. He wants hubby to do some spoken part too, which is a
>for him. Father is asked only to show up (and *if* it's convenient w/
>business travel, he probably will).
It's your son's night and whatever he wants is what the program should
>Question is, how to handle the "father's pin" thing? Hubby has been the
>father in more ways than one, including the usual adolescent-dad
>thing, and kid wants to recognize this by giving him a dad pin. Of
>though, there's the dad too. Hubby's main point is that he doesn't want
>dad pin if awarded side-by-side with father, as he feels it would
>and I have to agree with his feelings here.
>Son doesn't want to insult dad by not giving him an actual "father's"
>being as he is the actual father with whom he has a decent
>though it is more like one of uncle-nephew than actual parent.
The Eagle kit has one Eagle Dad tie-tac but an additional one can be
purchased so that both are presented the same pin. If this is what your
son want, do it. It's only a brief evening for you and your current
husband but a lifetime memory for your son. Tell your husband that it
doesn't cheapen the Dad's pin. Your former husband will probably never
wear his but Dad will wear his with pride. Remember your son's night and
he wants to present Dad with the pin. Please bit the upper lip and
accept it. Don't dissapoint HIM by saying no. It's his feelings that are
the most important in this situation.
I've had situations where the former husband's wife has played a role in
the life of the boy and he wanted her to be presented with the Mother's
minature Eagle pin as well, so we did. Even had situations where the
Mother's pin was also presented to Grandma, or Grandpa after the formal
CoH by Scout. The unit doesn't purchase these but gives the parents the
option of getting them.
>it, but I am perfectly wiling to put on a pleasant face and deal with
>an hour or two for kid's sake even if it would annoy me to be up front
>have him get a dad's pin in the same pgh I get the mom's one.
Your husband must also put on a pleasant face and accept the Dad's
pin.Just for the night!
The both of you could also present your son with an Eagle Neckerchief &
Slide or NESA membership with Neckerchief & Slide which is something I'm
sure your former husband wouldn't think of. Kind of something special
from Mom and Dad.
Colin M. McConnell firstname.lastname@example.org
Having so much fun I can Bearrrrrly stand it
District Advancement Chair, Northridge District, Detroit Area Council
Troop 1707 Committee Member, Troy, MI (Scoutmaster Emeritus)