Scouts-L Mail Archive for April of 1999: eagle's 2 dads.
eagle's 2 dads.
Dick, Sheldon Mr.
Wed, 14 Apr 1999 17:20:39 +0200
"auntie beans" posed a question as to how to handle a birth father and a
step-father/surrogate father bothe at an eagle court of honor - and how to
present both with eagle father pins.
i'll put on my ann landers,abby hat here and suggest:
1) it is largely the boy's party, so the final decision should really be
2) i see no value in demeaning one "father" in the presence of the other.
3) so i sugest a compromise which can best be handled by the son, when he
makes the presentations, saying something like this.
"i am very fortunate to have two eagle dad's pins to present tonight. one to
my birth father, without whose presence i would not be here at all.
(presents the pin saying "Thanks dad for giving me life - and for being here
to help me celebrate this day".
and continues: "and a second pin to the man who has helped my mom to bring
me to the point i am tonight. I could have not achieved this night without
his guidance, support, and mentorship etc...". He'll find the words.
4) and finally, after the new eagle returns home he has a surprise extra
gift for the husband, at which time he explains that he did not want to use
a happy occasion (his eagle presentation) to demean his birth father by not
somehow including him in the process. but that he especially appreciates
his mother's husband who did more for him, and deserves more than equal
thanks. then the new eagle gives him (husband) some simple special gift
(maybe you can find an eagle tie somwhere.) but do that privately, at home.
husband will be sure to understand.
shel dick; network security officer; dncc; odcsops; 5th
voice (dsn): (314)-380-4038; if no answer, try 380-4444
(not my office, but they will fwd msgs);
fax (dsn): (314)-380-4011 (NOT near me, so pls include
cover sheet, and notify me (email or voice) it's coming;
commercial (fm Germany): 0621-730-xxxx (last-four);
commercial fm CONUS: 011-49-621-730-xxxx;
email (internet via milnet/niprnet):
email@example.com; gccs e-mail (siprnet): tbd