Scouts-L Mail Archive for February of 1999: Re: Responsible Scouts
Re: Responsible Scouts
Mon, 8 Feb 1999 15:04:22 -0500
On Mon, 8 Feb 1999, Jim Peterson wrote:
> Phil wrote about a scout who comes from a truly messed-up family situation,
> has taken advantage of assistance offers for camping fees and equipment and
> had blown it last year...didn't show up for a camp slot that others paid
> for him. He described his family situation as chaotic but questions
> whether the scout shoud be held accountable for any of his irresponsibility.
> that he seems to have money for sodas, candy and sneakers....these may be
> the few things that he can obtain that keep him in the same world as his
> peers. Everybody has something that keeps them sane! :-)
It is also entirely possible that a grandparent or aunt/uncle is buying
the sneakers for him. If the family is this chaotic, those who care
about the boy may not risk giving him money which could be taken away.
Soda and candy -- we kept our son's allowance embarrasingly frugal and he
could afford soda and candy, but he certainly couldn't have saved up camp
money from it! (g)
> I would suggest making a "token demand" of him....something that would be
> fairly easy to accomplish for him but something that would require him to
Agree in concept, Jim, but I suspect you need something *dead easy* not
just Fairly Easy. (g) Probably wouldn't hurt to start with something
that does NOT require him to bring anything from home. We once had a
neighbor whose teenage son had a friend who went home at midnight and
left at 6am -- avoiding a family situation he couldn't live with or control.
We did what we could for the boy without making things worse for the rest
of the family.
Even if this boy doesn't turn into an average Scout, as Jim hopes, you
may at least give him a place free of criticism where he can relax a few
hours. Stress-reduction in a teenager is nothing to sneeze at these days.
As Jim says, we're sitting here giving advice, and you're the one on the
front line. Good luck!