Scouts-L Mail Archive for February of 1999: Re: Responsible Scouts
Re: Responsible Scouts
Mon, 8 Feb 1999 14:30:18 -0600
Hi Phil and scoutellers:
Phil wrote about a scout who comes from a truly messed-up family situation,
has taken advantage of assistance offers for camping fees and equipment and
had blown it last year...didn't show up for a camp slot that others paid
for him. He described his family situation as chaotic but questions
whether the scout shoud be held accountable for any of his irresponsibility.
Phil, I'd say that if ever there was a boy who needed scouting, he's right
there with you. It seems like it's always so difficult to deal with these
cases because we keep expecting reactions and behaviors that are in keeping
with our own set of family morals and guidelines. And the thing is, even
when we TELL ourselves that those expectations are unreasonable, we still
go right on expecting them AND even resenting the boy who "just doesn't
respond" to our overtures of "getting him on the right track". Sounds like
to me that this boy has absolutely nothing to guide him at home. Chaos is
probably a pretty good word to describe his environment. You mentioned
that he seems to have money for sodas, candy and sneakers....these may be
the few things that he can obtain that keep him in the same world as his
peers. Everybody has something that keeps them sane! :-)
I would suggest making a "token demand" of him....something that would be
fairly easy to accomplish for him but something that would require him to
make a committment and follow through. Keep in mind that "following
through" and "committment" are concepts that are as foreign to him as ice
cream is to Martians. He's certainly never seen it demonstrated before in
his family. Let him find out that scouting can be a safe haven....let him
learn that his leaders can be trusted even if his parents can't. When he
is able to complete one task, make the next more difficult. Baby steps.
Good luck Phil. Of course, I'm sitting here in Lawrence, Kansas, reading
your post and offering these words on a computer screen. You're there with
the very REAL and very ugly, messy situation that this boy has dumped in
your lap. He may not ever be the sterling scout we all want but I know
that with your aid and assistance, he cannot help but come out a better
human being than when you met him. Again, good luck and may the Creator
bless and aid you!
BLUE SKIES!, Any day above ground is a good day!
BS RT Comm, Pelathe Dist
Heart of America Council Eagle Class of 1963
ASM, T-55, Lawrence, Kansas Brotherhood, Tamegonit Lodge
email: firstname.lastname@example.org Mic-O-Say: HW "Shieldmaker"