Scouts-L Mail Archive for October of 1998: AD/HD Conference
Sun, 25 Oct 1998 23:03:14 -0800
Hello to those of you that sent messages to me asking about conference
classes. I attended one class titled AD/HD Dads-the Good, the Bad,
and the Ugly. It was an interesting class, but what made it really
memorable for me was what happened totally unexpectedly. At the tail
end of the presentation, a young man approx. 17-18 stood up and
approached the microphone to ask a question (we thought). Instead, he
explained that he came from a blended family with a step-father. This
step parent was really viewed as his parent, he explained, since the
man had raised him and always been there for him. He went on to
explain that as a typical AD/HD teenager (impulsive with really
overactive hormones) he had lashed out with some pretty ugly vocal
statements at his dad, including the statement that dad wasn't really
his dad! He told us that of course he now realized that impulsivity
and hormones aren't an excuse for what he had said, but at the
time...he had felt unable to control what was coming out of his mouth,
had been horrified to hear himself say such things, but was too
embarrassed to apologize. He relayed that he and his dad are now
estranged and he would give anything to hear his dad say, "I love you"
one more time. He asked the fathers in the room to remember no matter
what their kids tell them in their teen years that the bottom line is
that they still love them. They are just overwhelmed with growing up
and all of the feelings that go with it. They are unsure how to
handle all of those feelings. They know that it isn't cool to go to
dad and say all of this, so please just continue to love them.
There were many wet eyes in the room when he finished. Several people
went to him as the class concluded. I'm sure that he was urged to go
to his dad and extend the olive branch. I saw several people hug him.
I couldn't get near him for the crowd. Just thought those of you
that are dads to AD/HD teens might relate and appreciate this.
Chief Seattle Council
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