Scouts-L Mail Archive for October of 1998: Fun Groaners
Mon, 12 Oct 1998 16:22:15 -0400
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the
craft it sank-proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and
heat it, too.
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and
became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and
never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the
lesser of two weevils.
A mushroom walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a soda.
The waiter says "We don't serve mushrooms here." The mushroom says, "Why
not? I'm a fun guy!"
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He
sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my
This guy goes into a restaurant for a Christmas breakfast while in his home
town for the holidays. After looking over the menu he says,
"I'll just have the eggs benedict." His order comes a while later and it's
served on a big, shiny hubcap. He asks the waiter, "What's with the hubcap?"
The waiter sings, "Theres no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!"
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the
lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After
about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to
disperse. "But why?," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said,
"I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree and
reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion
quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king
of the jungle knows readers digest and writers cramp.
There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten
different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating
recurring dreams. First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a
teepee; then I'm a wigwam. It's driving me crazy. What's wrong with me?"
The doctor replies: "It's very simple. You're two tents."
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain;
they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his
mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she
also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins-if
you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."