James Wellborn (wellboj@HITTER.NET)
Fri, 4 Sep 1998 21:58:19 -0400
Wow. My hat's off to you for your long, determined effort and concern.
This list has gone through long episodes of the separation of roles
among Scout leader, citizen, councilor and professional therapist.
You'll have to scale yourself among those and determine what you are
accepting or willing to accept as your role and your personal investment
to attaining the goal you want to accept. Sounds to me that you're
stepping into the arena of complications that need professionals.
What's his impact on the other Scouts?
There comes a point when (poor syntax to follow) if a Scout,
on a regular basis,
is defining an event as being the responses to his negative behaviors
that cause extraordinary complications
and adult leaders must be fully engaged in protection and/or damage
rather than *the event* and what *everyone* did that feeds and defines
it as a good time
and other Scouts' activities take second or third ,etc., etc. tier
It's time to separate that Scout from Troop activities for a period of
During that time, the Troop leadership, Scout and Scouter, needs to
determine what course of action to follow... what actions and
consequences to present and to follow - POSITIVE as well as if things
don't progress positively.
Determine the reaction of the Scout to the separation.
Help him develop a plan to assist in his returning to the troop,
identifying benchmarks of actions which identify positive attainments,
,,,, if that is his desire.
Once the Troop decision is made, then individuals can pursue the needs
that this child has.
According to your description, I'd have to consider the possibilities of
the parents having codependent behaviors or are of such a high degree of
neglect ( by not noticing or ignoring his behaviors) that they need
referrals to family services help as well. In "my" state, official
government agencies have screwed up so often and the implications are so
nightmarish... (deep sigh) you sit between a big rock and a very hard
A church councilor or a school councilor might be able to suggest
helpful options. Confidentiality and rights to privacy will probably
not allow (rightfully so without parent permission...) you to get
specific info about the child and or family, but s/he or they might be
able to give you some pointers or a direction to pursue if you choose to
take it upon yourself.
Having been through the wrenching process of removing a Scout with deep
roots in the Troop, I know it's difficult. And that's a ridiculous
understatement. If I am reading this right, you are standing at the
edge. You need to determine whether to cut it loose or to accept a very
You have to determine if the worst scenario occurs, would it be worth
the cost(?) Or can you pass it on to a professional that deals with it
as part of their territory.
While the loss of one is terrible pain, there is no sin in saving the
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City