Wild Moose and Boar Training
James H. Moss (JHMoss@LAWYERNET.COM)
Sun, 23 Aug 1998 15:08:41 -0600
Well the Wild Moose chasing training is over. There were very few
successful entrants. Don still claims he should win, however growing up in
the city never really taught Don the difference between a milk cow and a
Bill did catch a moose. The doctor says that he should recover nicely with
only a minor limp. He is not sure if the twitching was there before the
accident and for the life of me I can't remember either. It was a
magnificent creature that Bill chased from what I heard. I really did not
get that good of a look however. Most of the class including myself decided
after a brief second that climbing a very sturdy and tall tree had greater
benefits than admiring a 2000 pound mad moose with a lunatic in a green
uniform chasing it through the Colorado woods.
We did not find any wild boar with the class. One student mentioned the
instructor was a little boaring. Probably next year's class we should move
to a location where there are more or at least one wild boar.
The protest by PETA, (people for the ethical treatment for animals) sort of
drizzled. I actually drizzled is not the correct word, more like exploded.
Once the moose came charging out of the woods they all dropped their signs
and started climbing trees also. They kept yelling about getting a gun. I
think they all went to an NRA meeting once they got out of the trees. It
was about this time that Bill really got a hold of the animal. He was a
little confused after charging into the clearing and seeing all those people
there with signs. He sort of acted like he didn't know which one to go
after next and that gave Bill the chance he was waiting for.
The class didn't stay in the trees long. Bill's moaning was quite
disturbing and since we voted that killing him was not cool we had to go get
him and take him to a hospital so we all climbed down soon after the moose
We expect Don back soon, as we were carrying Bill down the hill we saw Don
still talking with the owner of the cow. The owner said he should be mad,
but it was really hard to be mad when you look out your window on a Sunday
morning and see a city slicker holding on to the neck of your cow being drug
through the cow pies. He did request we let him know in advance next time
we were going to teach a class. I think he wants to sell tickets.
Many of the participants wanted a patch for the training and I didn't order
any so I told them to subscribe to Patch-L and complain. Someone will make
one up with a hefty restriction soon and they be a heavily traded item. A
couple of other people wanted something to wear around their necks. The
Farmer suggested a dog collar with an electric fence attachment so we
couldn't get out of the city. The paramedic suggested a straight jacket.
We decided against both of those ideas because it would not go well with any
uniform. We decided on two rocks at the end of a rawhide string. One class
member wanted the string to be moosehide and the rest of the class told him
that as soon as he caught the moose they would wear the moosehide. About
that time they carried Bill past so that idea got dropped.
So if you see a scouter walking around with a leather string around his neck
with two rocks on the end you know he is proud of his accomplishments. He
has completed the first BSA moose hunting and chasing class. Smile when you
see him go past as he stands tall among us, unless it is Bill, he will
probably still be limping. (Either that a wood badge person misplaced his
So for those of you who missed the opportunity for this advanced training
just let me now and we will keep you on the mailing list for next year.
Well I have to get back to the Perkins, the rest of the class has staked out
a table there and knowing good Scouts they will be there till past midnight
and I don't want to miss one more exciting moment.
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City