Discipline, parental involvement, and siblings
Robin Toomey (arrowt@JUNO.COM)
Mon, 10 Aug 1998 20:36:36 -0500
We have a den that is about to start it's third year together. They
started as Tigers and are now Bears. Last year we had co-leaders for
this den. One of the leaders has decided she no longer wants to be a
leader. One of the other parents in this den has agreed to be the
assistant den leader this year.
This den has had some problems in the past that were not addressed by the
leaders. This new leader wants to address them up front at the first
meeting. I think that is a wonderful idea except that none of us is sure
what we need to do. I do things differently in my den so I haven't
encountered the same problems that they have. It is also further
complicated by "Things have always been this way" syndrome.
These are the big three issues in that den and I would like to know how
you have/would handle them.
1. Discipline - there are no clear cut rules for the boys. There are no
consequences if they misbehave. Discipline for the most part has been
left up to the parents.
2. Parental involvement - There are those parents who participate and
there are those parents that don't. The former den leaders never made
it clear that parental involvement was mandatory. There are extenuating
circumstances and we would deal with them as they arise. The former
leaders complained about it, but were unwilling to confront the parents
who had come for social hour.
3. Siblings - There have been problems with siblings. The siblings are
disruptive to the meetings... ie... running around, yelling, and not
being kept under control by the parents. Siblings being dropped off by
parents with the Scouts, parent leaves. Siblings participating in
projects. The siblings think they should be allowed to do the same
things the Scouts do. Crafts have gotten total out of hand now. Parents
who are taking care of their kids aren't spending time with or helping
their son with his Scouting, at the den meetings.
Some of the possible solutions we have come up with are:
1. Withhold snacks for the boys that can't behave. If I have to say
something to you three times then you lose your snack.
2. Refuse to allow a Scout to come without a parent. Tell the parents
that they are expected to participate with their Scout in ALL aspects of
the den meeting from the pledge to the closing.
3. Don't allow siblings at the meetings. I personally could see us
losing Scouts and one leader over this one. It is the feeling of the new
leader that the program is for the boys AND parents to be doing together.
If the parent is busy with the siblings or thinks it's social hour they
are doing a disservice to their son and it detracts from the leaders time
to spend with their own son so, it is penalizing both boys. We also
thought maybe we could get a teenager to come baby-sit for an hour. The
problem is how to pay for the sitter.
Please don't tell me to send her to training, she's been. We are just
looking for ideas so we can make well informed decisions.
As always thanks!
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