Re: I lost my temper....mea culpa (long)
Bob Morehead (rmorehead@NLS.NET)
Wed, 5 Aug 1998 08:29:30 -0400
I'm having trouble comprehending your feelings of guilt. You didn't hit
the boy and had tried everything else imaginable for a week. In my
opinion, your actions were appropriate to the circumstances.
The question comes up, how did the boy get like this in the first place?
As Scouters, all of us have had ADD kids in our troop from time to time.
While they may be loud, disruptive, or difficult to control at times,
they are NOT all whiny, lazy shirkers of responsibility. I cannot speak
for Aloysius or his parents; I do not know them. I CAN speak for the
boys I've met who are LIKE him. As a matter of fact, my own troop has
an Aloysius, and we're about ready to shoot him ourselves (OK, not
really. But I WILL admit to briefly fantasizing about it a couple of
times ;)). Invariably, it comes down to the parents excusing
unacceptable behavior because he has this disorder ("Oh, please forgive
him! He has blah, blah!" Oh, that's alright Murgatroid! I know you
couldn't help it!" "Don't you dare spank him, Frank! You know he has
this and that!") I'm sure all of us have seen this pattern. The child
eventually learns that everything is someone or something else's fault
and he can do as he pleases without having to face any consequences.
When we try to bring those consequences to him, he's understandably
This pattern, BTW, isn't limited to kids with ADD or other disorders.
The disorders simply supply a convenient excuse. Fact is, American
parents, either convinced by pop psychology quacks that discipline is
abuse or completely indifferent to their own responsibilities have
produced an entire generation of kids who don't accept responsibility
and see no reason to do as their told. As a society we're paying a
bitter price for this. As Scouters, we're trying to implement a program
that may, to a degree, rectify some of that damage. We can't do that if
we can't maintain some order in our environment. Let's continue to use
appropriate discipline and not feel guilty when we do it.
ASM, Troop 381
"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts
agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer
professionals. We cause accidents." - Nathaniel Borenstein
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City