Camping tips for first time campers.
Dave Yanke (n9ssg@POBOX.COM)
Sun, 19 Jul 1998 11:00:40 -0500
Whenever we plan a campout with our scouts (Cub scouts), inevitably there is
someone coming along who is new to camping. Prior to leaving we sit down
with them and go over the basics. I've listed them here for the benefit of all:
Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his
favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.
Old socks can be made into high fiber beef jerky by smoking
them over an open fire.
When smoking a fish, never inhale.
A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm.
A hot enchilada works almost as well, but as the cheese cools it
will stick between your toes.
You'll never be awakened by the call of a loon if you have an
Acupuncture was invented by a camper who found a porcupine
in his sleeping bag.
While the Swiss Army Knife has been popular for years, the Swiss Navy
Knife has remained largely un-heralded. Its single blade functions as a
tiny canoe paddle.
Modern rain suits made of fabrics that "breathe" enable campers to
stay dry in a downpour. Rain suits that sneeze, cough, and belch,
however, have been proven to add absolutely nothing to the wilderness
Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Warning: Remove
lint from navel before applying the match.
You can duplicate the warmth of a down filled bedroll by climbing
into a plastic garbage bag with several geese.
When camping, always wear a long sleeved shirt. It gives you
something to wipe your nose on.
Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine
a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do
not go into the woods alone.
A two man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.
You can start a fire without matches by eating Mexican food, then
breathing on a pile of dry sticks.
Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly
country. The tricky part is getting the bells on the bears.
In an emergency, a drawstring from a parka hood can be used to
strangle a snoring tent mate.
Ethernet(n): something used to catch the etherbunny.
Dave Yanke - N9SSG
PGP Key ID 95299BA1. Email with subject 'send n9ssg pgp' for key
PGP Fingerprint: 4A 4D 54 3C 2D 27 8D 19 69 42 2E D7 BF 80 10 40
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City