The Gillams (a2m5u8gt@COASTALNET.COM)
Wed, 19 Nov 1997 10:54:56 -0500
I am not new to the list and have found a lot of good advice here, so once
again I am seeking suggestions.
I have not had much luck with having an assistant leader for my den. The
first one (Wolf) was a working mother of two that was also a youth leader in
her church. So she decided she had a full plate and quit but did continue
help out periodically.
My next one, the current one, came to me asking to be my Webelos Assistant.
I accepted her offer with hesitation as I know she has some personal
problems that I felt would get in the way. She has one child and does not
work outside the home.
Before she ever got trained she decided to quit but I wrote her a letter
asking her to reconsider. She decided she would give it another try and
attended CSLBT. However it seems her emotions are always hampering our
Now she is made at me because I made a simple mistake in her son's Webelos
Handbook. I have made mistake in my own child's book. It's not like it
can't be corrected.
She claims her son has earned his bicycling beltloop because he knows how to
ride and has completed the bike repair for Handyman. I have tried to
explain it to her and her husband (ACM) that there are books for every
beltloop but they still fell in am wrong. I have discussed the situation
with our UC and he is in agreement with me. If what they felt was true all
my boys would have it. I told her husband I am planning a bike rodeo with a
law enforcement officer to help all of them earn it but I don't feel it
satisfies wither of them.
Any time there is a problem within my den concerning their child they run to
my husband, who is CM. That ticks me off and he doesn't like being put in
the middle. We are constantly having problems with the two of them but
cannot get much help except from a few others.
Her husband tells me she doesn't feel needed but I let her do most of my
phone correspondence and help do crafts, chart recording, song leading, etc.
Two time when I really needed her help she bluntly refused. Once to help
with buying groceries for our first Webelos Camporee and recently to help
plan Scouting for Food for our den. That time she never bothered to return
my call because I guess she is made over the book mistake.
I since written her saying I am sorry for the mistake and that she needs to
seriously decide if she really wants to be a leader as leaders need to be
commited all the time not just when they want to. It seems like I am
constantly having to explain myself to them. My biggest helpers with my
den are my husband and the CC.
I really prefer not to have to deal with this type of tension any more as it
is so petty. Her husband at one time even went so far as to go behind my
back by phoning parents about changing the day and time of our den meetings.
This way before she became my assistant. I try an live by the Bible and
turn my cheek and forgive; but I only have two cheeks to offer.
You can respond to this delemma here or to me personally at
Webelos Leader * Troop Secretray
We are known by the tracks we leave behind............Dakota proverb
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City