The Shotgun Rules
Allen Maddox (atmaddox@JUNO.COM)
Tue, 7 Oct 1997 09:02:19 -0700
This came across the Chester County Coucil e-mail list. I chuckled a bit,
thought I'd pass it along.
Allen Maddox SMT9
Honey Brook,PA Chester County Council, Horseshoe District
> The Shotgun Rules
> Version 1.1
> The rules listed below apply to the calling of Shotgun (the passenger
> in an automobile. These rules are definitive and binding.
> Section I
> The Basic Rules
> 1. In order to call Shotgun, the caller must pronounce the word
> in a clear voice. This call must be heard and acknowledged by the
> The other occupants of the vehicle need not hear the call as long as
> driver verifies the call.
> 2. Shotgun may only be called if all occupants of the vehicle are
> outside and on the way to said vehicle.
> 3. Early calls are strictly prohibited. Shotgun may only be called
> while walking toward the vehicle and only applies to the drive
> forthcoming. Shotgun can never be called while inside a vehicle
> still technically on the way to the first location. For example, one
> not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.
> 4. The driver has final say in all ties and disputes. The driver has
> the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more
> Section II
> Special Cases
> These special exceptions to the rules above should be considered in
> order presented; the case listed first will take precedence over any
> cases beneath it, when applicable.
> 1. In the instance that the normal driver of a vehicle is drunk or
> otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is
> automatically given Shotgun.
> 2. If the instance that the person who actually owns the vehicle is
> driving, then he/she is automatically given Shotgun, unless they
> 3. In the instance the the driver's spouse, lover, partner, or hired
> prostitute for the evening is going to accompany the group, he/she
> is automatically given Shotgun, unless they decline.
> 4. In the instance that one of the passengers may become so ill
> the course of the journey that the other occupants feel he/she
> toss their cookies, then the ill person should be given Shotgun to
> appropriate use of the window.
> 5. In the instance that only one person knows how to get to a given
> location and this person is not the driver, then as the
> navigator for the group they automatically get Shotgun, unless
> 6. In the instance that one of the occupants is too wide or tall to
> comfortably in the back seat, then the driver may show mercy and
> award. Shotgun to the genetic misfit. Alternatively, the driver and
> passengers may continually taunt the poor fellow as they make a
> three hour trip with him crammed in the back.
> Section III
> The Survival of the Fittest Rule
> 1. If the driver so wishes, he/she may institute the Survival of the
> Fittest Rule on the process of calling Shotgun. In this case all
> rules, excepting I-4, are suspended and the passenger seat is
> whoever can take it by force.
> 2. The driver must announce the institution of the Survival of the
> Fittest Rule with reasonable warning to all passengers.
> This clause reduces the amount of blood lost by passengers and
> the damage done to the vehicle.
> Please follow the above rules to the best of your ability. If
> there are any arguments or exceptions not covered in these rules,
> please refer to rule I-4.
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City