Worst Virus Ever-(joke)
Mark C Keeney (markkeeney@JUNO.COM)
Sun, 3 Aug 1997 01:56:31 -0500
This came to me off of another list. I thought it was about 2/3 of a pun.
Have a chortle on me.
Warning: There's a new virus on the loose that's worse than anything
I've seen before! It gets in through the power line, riding on the
powerline 60 Hz subcarrier. It works by changing the serial port
pinouts, and by reversing the direction one's disks spin. Over 300,000
systems have been hit by it here in Murphy, West Dakota alone! And
that's just in the last 12 minutes.
It attacks DOS, Unix, TOPS-20, Apple-II, VMS, MVS, Multics, Mac, RSX-11,
ITS, TRS-80, and VHS systems.
To prevent the spread of the worm:
1) Don't use the powerline.
2) Don't use batteries either, since there are rumors that this virus
has invaded most major battery plants and is infecting the positive
poles of the batteries. (You might try hooking up just the negative
3) Don't upload or download files.
4) Don't store files on floppy disks or hard disks.
5) Don't read messages. Not even this one!
6) Don't use serial ports, modems, or phone lines.
7) Don't use keyboards, screens, or printers.
8) Don't use switches, CPUs, memories, microprocessors, or mainframes.
9) Don't use electric lights, electric or gas heat or airconditioning,
running water, writing, fire, clothing or the wheel.
I'm sure if we are all careful to follow these 9 easy steps, this virus
can be eradicated, and the precious electronic fluids of our computers
can be kept pure.
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City