Re: Troubling problem
Gary Piper (GRPiper@MSN.COM)
Tue, 15 Jul 1997 02:36:33 UT
I had a problem with a parent that thanks to wise console from my committee I
fix right up front. A parent that I knew from years before showed up at my
troop meeting with his youngest son. The parent was the WEBLOS leader and
planned on transferring with his son to my troop. He had a strong smell of
alcohol on his breath. He was a great resource when his older son was in the
troop. He had worked as an outfitter in Montana, a shouting instructor for
the LA police, and had won the Montana state black powder shooting
championship. I wont to exploit his skills.
A committee member pointed out the alcohol smell and advised me to approach
him. I did. He insisted that he had just had one drink with dinner and that
it was not a problem. I told him that we need his help, but do not come to
any scout meeting or function with the smell of alcohol on his breath. Well
it got ugly right then. He was a man about 6' 3'' and look like a rugged
The bottom line was I told him the rules and requested he follow them or not
come back. I assured him we wonted his help, but only if he would follow the
rules. His son is still in the troop and he has never talked to me since.
Recommend you talk to your problem adult and tell him what you expect and ask
him to honor your request or do not come back. Tell him that his son is
welcome no matter what he does. If he chooses to remove his son, that will be
his choice not yours.
TP Software, Inc
From: Scouts-L Youth Group List On Behalf Of John Conley
Sent: Monday, July 14, 1997 1:19 PM
To: Multiple recipients of list SCOUTS-L
Subject: Re: Troubling problem
Ron Raab-Long wrote:
> My question to this austere group of Scouters is this. How can I mandate
> that this parent not bring his child to any activities, that he stay away
> from all activities, and that his presence is not welcome anywhere near any
> scouting functions - without, in effect, making his son leave the troop as
> Any guidance you offer will be greatly appreciated.
A couple of questions and observations:
Has anyone told this guy that his behavior isn't acceptable? Sorry if
this question seems to insult your intelegence, but I often see
where this seemingly logical first step hasn't been taken.
Your Unit or District Commissioner may have some training which will
him/her help you mediate this situation.
As to whether you can get rid of the adult and keep the Scout, my bet
be no, but that is *his* decision. If you are convinced that you are
doing the right thing to deliver a quality Scouting program to the
possible number of kids, then you can't beat yourself up over his
*You* aren't keeping the kid out of Scouting, his *parent* is.
This guy kept one den of 10 and two other dens (so, probably at least 20
Webelos) out of your Troop. Since these Webelos were moving to an
unfamiliar Troop, I'll bet he kept some of them out of Scouting
The situation has to be addressed.
Tell him that Scouting has a specific program you need to run, and
that he must let you do so. We have rules and regulations in place to
protect *his son*. If, as you expect, he doesn't reform, then you will
to ask him to leave. Do so quietly and efficiently, and don't allow the
conversation to become an argument. Have others present, like your
Commissioner and Chartered Organization Rep, to avoid later claims about
who said what.
When you talk to this guy, make sure he knows that his son is welcome to
stay. Sometimes a problem parent like this will allow the son to
(Usually not, but again, that is his decision.)
Sorry for the length of this post. I hope it helps you clarify your
If anyone else has managed to read this far, I'd appreciate the thoughts
more experienced Scouters on an interesting facet of Rob's problem: The
CO can't "fire" someone who isn't registered. Can we tell an
interested parent that they can't come around their son's Scouting
Yis, and good luck,
Arrowhead District Commissioner
Finger Lakes Council (NY)
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City