Fw: [SAFETY] Humor: A *FUNNY* Hunting S
Edward W. Hammitt (ehammitt@IX.NETCOM.COM)
Mon, 9 Jun 1997 18:04:02 -0400
> Here is one for the "Darwin Awards." This was on the Lewis & Floorwax
> this morning on 103.5 FM and has also been submitted by other faithful
> viewers] Radio in Denver. Another one of those things that make you go
> Michigan, USA.
> Guy buys brand new Grand Cherokee for 30 some thousand dollars and has
> dollar monthly payments. He immediately gets ahold of his friend and
> go do some male bonding. They go duck hunting and of course all the
> are frozen.
> These 2 Atomic Brains go to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer and
> course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the lake ice and get ready.
> Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area for the
> something for the decoys to float on. Remember, it's all ice and in
> to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck wants
> fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than a ice
> hole drill.
> Out of the back of the new Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with
> short, 40 second fuse. Now these 2 Rocket Scientists do take into
> consideration that if they place the stick of dynamite on the ice at a
> location far from where they are standing (and the new Grand Cherokee),
> take the risk of slipping on the ice when they run from the burning fuse
> possibly going up in smoke with the resulting blast. So, they decide to
> light this 40 second fuse and throw the dynamite. This is what they
> Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the
> beer, the guns AND THE DOG?
> Yes, the dog. A highly trained Black Lab used for retrieving, especially
> things thrown by the owner.
> You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the
> and gets the stick of dynamite with the burning 40 second fuse about the
> time it hits the ice, all to the woe of the 2 idiots yelling, stomping,
> waving arms and wondering what on earth to do now. The dog? Well, it's
> happy, and heads back to where it came from moments before, with the
> of dynamite, only to the mounting woes of the 2 bozos now really waving
> their arms, yelling even louder and jumping to greater heights than ever
> Now one of the guys decides to think, something that he has never done
> before this moment, grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog. The shotgun is
> loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab on its
> appointed rounds. Dog stops for a moment, slightly confused and
> on. Another shot and this time the dog, still standing, becomes really
> confused and of course scared, thinking these 2 Nobel Prize winners have
> gone insane, takes off to find cover.
> The fuse was really short by then. The cover the dog finds? Underneath
> brand new Grand Cherokee 30 some thousand dollar 400+ monthly payment
> vehicle sitting on the thick ice of the lake.
> BOOM !
> The dog dies and it and the brand new Grand Cherokee 30 some thousand
> 400+ monthly payment vehicle sink to the bottom of the lake leaving the 2
> candidates for Co-leaders of the Known Universe standing there with this
> can't believe this happened" look on their faces.
> Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company which tells
> that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not
> covered. He had yet to make the first of those 400+ a month payments.
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City