Lorie McGraw (llmcgraw@WORLDNET.ATT.NET)
Tue, 3 Dec 1996 14:17:50 +0000
Hello, all, and best of the season to you!
I came across the following hysterical list of "150 Things You
Should Not Do At Your Thesis Defense", and even though I am a Cub Leader, I
have many friends in "the Big Boys Group" and thought you would like a
chuckle. Since this list is Very long (~250 lines, or so), I am posting the
first 25. If you would like the complete list, e-mail me privately and I
will send it off to you. (The original was in HTML, and I reformatted it
into text/doc. If you would prefer it as HTML/web page (you can view it
with your browser) AND you can handle a .zip file, please let me know in
Here it is, retitled
"25 Things you should NOT Do at Your Board of Review"
Edited for a G-Rated Audience:
>150 Things Not To Do or Say At (or For) Your Thesis Defense
>Written by Peter Dutton, Jim Lalopoulos, and Alison Berube while preparing
for our Master's Thesis Defenses in the Mechanical Engineering Department at
Worcester Polytechnic Institute in the Spring/Summer of 1993. As of May
1995, we can be reached at (sorry, no Web links):
>Peter Dutton <email@example.com>
>Alison Sullivan (nee Berube): <firstname.lastname@example.org>
>Now, on with the list!
>1. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our National
>2. Charge 25 cents a cup for coffee.
>3. "Charge the mound" when a professor (ScoutMaster) beans you with a high
>4. Describe parts of your thesis (project) using interpretive dance.
>5. "Musical accompaniment provided by..."
>6. Stage your own death/suicide.
>7. Lead the specators in a Wave.
>8. Have a sing-a-long.
>9. "You call THAT a question? How the heck did they make you a professor
>10."Ladies and Gentlemen, as I dim the lights, please hold hands and
concentrate so that we may channel the spirit of Lord Kelvin..."
>11. Have bodyguards outside the room to "discourage" certain (Committee
Members)professors from sitting in.
>12. Puppet show.
>13. Group prayer.
>14. Sell T-shirts to recoup the cost of copying, binding, etc.
>15. "I'm sorry, I can't hear you - there's a banana in my ear!"
>16. Imitate Groucho Marx.
>18. Hold a Tupperware party.
>19. Have a bikini-clad model be in charge of changing the overheads.
>20. "Everybody rhumba!!"
>21. "And it would have worked if it weren't for those meddling kids..."
>22. Charge a cover and check for ID.
>23. "In protest of our government's systematic and brutal opression of
>24.*deleted due to political incorrectness...available as complete list. llm*
>25. Smoke machines, dramatic lighting, pyrotechnics...
>26. Use a Super Soaker to point at people.
Yes, there's 26, but I deleted #25 (probably overreacting, but this is
supposed to be scouts, and my asbestos suit is in the cleaners).
Like I said, If you wish to get the whole list (Highly recommended if you
are a university student or professor), e-mail me. You can also see the
and check out the Wrecked Humor Site:
Wolf Den Leader Den 4 Pack 410
Etowah Creek Dist. Indian Waters Council
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City