Re: trouble w/ untrustworthy scout
Tim Goncharoff (tgonchar@CATS.UCSC.EDU)
Thu, 22 Aug 1996 09:22:11 -0700
It seems to me the problem is two-fold:
1) How do we make amends for this particular incident and the damage it
has done to the troop, and;
2) What can we do for this boy to get him straightened out?
I don't know how the boy got to this point. It's easy to blame parents,
but I've seen boys from good families do unexplainable things. I would
consider the legal system a last resort. Not too many people get
straightened out that way, unfortunately.
Sometimes young people just can't relate to the harm they are doing.
This is just a lack of experience. The denial of privileges or
"time-out" are classic methods to help a young person relate to the pain
they have caused others. It certainly sounds like things have gone
beyond that point in this case.
I think I would try to find an approach that shows the young man that
these are real people just like him, and that the pain of being taken
advantage of is the same for them as it would be for him. In addition, I
would talk to him about the harm he has done to the reputation of his
family, his troop, and scouting in general.
I might take him around to the neighbors, introduce him to the family and
have him apologize. Perhaps he could make up what he took by doing some
chores for them - mowing the lawn, picking weeds, painting the fence,
whatever. Maybe it could even be quietly worked out with some of the
families to pay him something at the end of the job. This might help him
learn a more productive way of earning money, and maybe even establish a
better relationship between him and these folks. Probably the bottom
line lesson he needs is that people will care about you more if you
treat them right.
Advice is cheap, I know.
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City