(Fwd) If Microsoft was headquartered in South Georgia.....
Deirdre LaRock (butterbuns@EARTHLINK.COM)
Wed, 19 Jun 1996 19:53:17 -0400
I know this is off topic. But, every once in a while, we all need a laugh.
I am from Georgia and I didn't find but one thing on this offensive. The
other 19 are definitely humourous. Of course, I'm just a transplanted
Yankee who likes to listen to Country music and Jeff Foxworthy.
>Thought ya'll might like this one...
>______________________________ Forward Header _________________________________
>## Subject: If Microsoft was headquartered in South Georgia.....
>Author: Chris Neal at CMIWC
>Date: 6/17/96 3:16 PM
>Ways things would be different if Microsoft was headquartered in South
>1.Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
>2.Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
>3.Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty
>4.Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
>5.Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
>6.The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
>7.Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized
>drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"
>8.Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be
>9.Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag
>10.Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers.
>11.New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"
>12.Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
>13.Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
>14.Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
>15.Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver
>16.Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
>17.Speadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars
>in your front yard
>18.Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator
>19.Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
>20.Redman plug'n'play interface.
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City