Re: Boy needs help......please read.
Tony Ellerton (tonye@CWAVE.COM)
Tue, 5 Mar 1996 14:55:50 -0600
At 07:43 PM 3/2/96 -0500, you wrote:
>I am a new Wolf Den Leader currently working with a fine group of boys.
>However, I have one boy in my group who just seems to get more and more
>uncooperative with each passing meeting. Some background; parents are
>divorced and Dad lives in another state. He is as disruptive in school as he
>is in Scouts. I practice extreme patience with this boy and it seems that the
>more patient I am with him the worse his behavior gets. He seems to WANT me
>to get angry, which I dont.....(externally!)
>Favorite quotes include " I QUIT!", "BORING!!", "They started it" I could go
>on but I think you get the idea.
>We had an episode this past meeting (which prompted this post) where the
>group was playing a team game, he became upset because he didn't get the ball
>as much as he would have liked so, he quit and sat off to the side. I decided
>maybe thats the best place for him right now and continued with the activity.
>Well, this really got him going and he bolted from the yard. I had to chase
>this boy and physically direct him back to the house, and once there he
>wheeled on me and punched me right in the stomach! Before I could recover he
>was off again! (my neckerchief did some flapping that night!) Now, I'm sure
>that a few years down the road this is all going to be quite humorous, but
>that cant diminish the concern I have for this kid now.
>I guess what I'm asking is if anyone here has had similar problems and if so,
>please, any advice would be most appreciated. I have called the Mother
>already and she has agreed to come to meetings until he settles down. Yet, it
>still seems that this problem runs deeper than I have been able to convey
>here. He needs some kind of breakthrough and I know he can benefit from this
>program. I spend most of my time at meetings with him, but that takes away
>from the group.
>So, I put it to you my friends. With all the experience gathered here in this
>group, I'm sure your advise can help turn this boy around. Feel free to
>answer here or you may e-mail me privately at GRS5@aol.com
>Leader - Pack 1514
Hi I am an Assistant District Commissioner from Alberta, Canada, I have run
into a similar situation, here are a few things that you may wish to try.
1) Sit down with the youth and find out if you can build a 1 on 1
relationship with the child, once he feels that you are a friend he may open
up to you and tell you what is bothering him. As a child I too ran into the
same problem as well when my parents split up, most of my rebellion and
anger was directed at everyone around me, as I grew older i realized that
the cause for the split up wasn't my fault and learned to deal with it. The
behaviour that you are experianceing may be due to this anger, although it
may take a little work, if you can break through the barrier of anger then
you may find that the youth will change his attitude.
2) Secondly, the child may not even want to be involved in the scouting
movement, and is only there because the mother may be using it as a "Baby
Sitting Service", speak to the mother and see if the youth is recieving
counciling and if not encourage her to have the child take some counciling.
Yours in Scouting
ADC Mountain View District, Alberta, Canada
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City