Re: Boy needs help......please read.
(no name) ((no email))
Mon, 4 Mar 1996 19:49:38 -0600
>I am a new Wolf Den Leader currently working with a fine group of >boys.
However, I have one boy in my group who just seems to get >more and more
uncooperative with each passing meeting. Some >background; parents are
divorced and Dad lives in another state. >He is as disruptive in school as
he is in Scouts. I practice >extreme patience with this boy and it seems
that the more patient >I am with him the worse his behavior gets.
Sounds like my youngest son, Aaron. Aaron has had some time dealing with the
divorce and marriage. Somehow he feels, like all
boys his age, that if he misbehaves to a certain point, his father and
mother will both come and get him and everything will be fine once again. It
is a very hot button with me, because of the way
I feel that his mother and I treated the entire situation. 'nuff said.
>He seems to WANT me to get angry, which I dont.....(externally!)
>Favorite quotes include " I QUIT!", "BORING!!", "They started it" >I could
go on but I think you get the idea.
I do. Believe me, I do. There's a lot of "I don't have to do
that" in there too, I'm sure.
>We had an episode this past meeting (which prompted this post) >where the
group was playing a team game, he became upset because >he didn't get the
ball as much as he would have liked so, he quit >and sat off to the side. I
decided maybe thats the best place for >him right now and continued with the
You did exactly what I would have done, which doesn't make Aaron
happy with me at all.
>Well, this really got him going and he bolted from the yard. I >had to
chase this boy and physically direct him back to the >house, and once there
he wheeled on me and punched me right in >the stomach! Before I could
recover he was off again! (my >neckerchief did some flapping that night!)
Now, I'm sure that a >few years down the road this is all going to be quite
>but that can't diminish the concern I have for this kid now.
Anytime an adult gets hit by a child for protecting him is a matter of
concern. This is when you get ahold of his mother,
explain the situation and calmly but firmly state --in his prescence --that
if he cannot be controlled, that perhaps she needs to attend to insure his
safety or he needs to find another activity for him to participate.
That's a HARD thing to say to any parent, and I've had to say it
to Aaron's mother because Jessiann and I were unable to control
him without "damaging the goods". We later learned that Aaron
was on behavior-modification medication, but it was not with him
when he visited, therefore he felt way out of control. Talk with
that parent and insure that he's not (or should be) on some sort
of behavior-modification medication.
>He needs some kind of breakthrough and I know he can benefit from >this
He needs a male-relation figure in his life. Aaron benefits from
his mother's finance, whom also has a younger male child. Unfortunately,
this comes after Aaron's transfer from a traditional school environment to a
behavior-controlled school miles away from home. Hopefully, with a
combination of medication, behavior modification, and a new environment with a
male-relation figure present most of the time, Aaron will once again feel
that things will be alright.
(MAJ) Mike L. Walton (Settummanque, the blackeagle) (
co-Owner, Blackeagle Servics of Kentucky (502.826.7046) __)_
174 Chapelwood Drive, Henderson, Kentucky 42420-5036 | ** |]
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