Re; Divorce Fathers
Drew Mrenna (DMrenna@AOL.COM)
Wed, 25 Oct 1995 11:42:20 -0400
Here's my two cents on the weekend fathers topic. This is with experience, I
am a weekend father. Here is a little background that might make a
difference. I met my ex while active in Scouting. I was in scouting because
I like the program, I did not have any kids. During the marriage I became
inactive in scouting to spend more time saving the marriage. It did not
work. At that time I did have kids, not old enough for scouting.
After the breakup, yes it got a little messy, I became active again. Still
my son was not old enough to be in scouts. On my weekends that conflicted
with my scout activities, my children (one daughter and one son) would tag
along. The Troop and District have been understanding and I have never had a
problem bringing the kids. If they want me to help, the kids come.
Over the years my ex had soften quit a bit. I have found this to be true in
many separations. I think some lawyers cause most of the problems. At
first, a separation/divorce can be devastating. I see a lot of boys quit
because of a parent's divorce. It is not fair. Most parent's are not
thinking clearly when it first happens, their emotions are in control. I do
see boys that quit in cubbing rejoin in boy scouts.
Last year my son was a Tiger. The pack needed a Tiger Coordinator and I
volunteered. In fact the CM was acting as TC and because of time commitments
did not have the time to be both, so I took the job away from him. He was
overjoyed. My ex supported the idea. Events that fell on her weekends, did
not become a problem. In fact sometimes those events were scheduled on those
weekends to have more time with my son (don't tell my ex this).
One more thing I should say. I do not even live in the area. I drive 75
miles (one way) to go to the meetings. My son is now in a Wolf Den. I
talked the leader into having Friday meetings. This way I could come to some
meetings. I let my ex take him on the other weekends because of the
distance. The DC Beltway is hell. I am now also CA. I make the Pack
Meetings, I am travelling tonight to one, and committee meetings.
Another interesting piece of information is that another Den in the Pack has
divorced parents being Den Leader and Assistant. They both believe in the
The problem with having a troop meeting on Saturdays is that not all scouts
would have the same weekend off. I know that changes are frequently made for
What is the conclusion to all of my rambling. To the father, take the time
and effort to be active with your son. To the mother, the son needs to be
with his father, this is quality time. Boy, these words of wisdom sound
great for all, not just divorced parents.
Eagle Class of '73
UC/COR, T618/P720, National Pike District, Baltimore Area Council
ADC, National Pike District, Baltimore Area Council
TC/CA, Prince Williams District, National Capital Area Council
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City