Re: Adult Scouters and Spousal Abuse
Jess Olonoff (jolonoff@GATE.NET)
Wed, 13 Sep 1995 13:23:24 -0400
In the information first provided by this group I noted that flaming was
not allowed. Disagreement on ideas perhaps will occur but I believe this
posting goes beyond that and should have been sent privately. However,
as it was sent to all I will reply to all.
On Tue, 12 Sep 1995, Byron Hynes wrote:
> (Again, I am not commenting on the alleged failure to follow rules and
> policies, in the camp setting, [which seems to be a violation of YPP], or
> his ability and skills at managing people as a camp director or SM -- only
> the charges laid in the domestic violence issue.)
> >We are not the Criminal Justice System. We are Scout Leaders and are
> >charged with the Protection of the Youth we lead.
> Most Scout Leaders, and even some professional staff, have NO investigation
> skills, NO investigation experience, NO critical thinking training, NO legal
> training, and limited ability to sift through mounds of "facts", evidence
> and innuendo. The problem is further compounded by the high emotions running
> in such situations (especially in close knit groups and/or small towns).
You do not seem to think to highly of your fellow scouters. We all
hopefully have some common sense if nothing else. This mans arrest was
reported in the newspaper. The police have investigation experience,
some critical thinking training, some legal training and most have the
ability to sift through mounds of a lot of "differing materials"
They saw fit to make an arrest. Yes a jury may or may not convict the
man but with the evidence available to me I believe the man committed a
crime against his wife.
> >If we are all wrong and everything turns out to have been a big mistake
> >or perhaps a mirage we will apologize and ask forgiveness from the man
> >and perhaps from the lord but, no one need apologize for protecting the
> >kids from harm.
> How, exactly, do you "ask for forgiveness" without appologizing?
I was being a little facetious (sorry for not using an emoticon). If
there were questions here I too would hesitate in taking action and if
you noticed I did say that a measured response might be in order if
possible. As far as asking for forgiveness that applies only if it all
turned out to be wrong not if he happens to get off on the charges. This
guy has more problems under his hat I suspect. I think you're being a
bit nasty on this one.
> We are not talking about a situation where someones has physically hurt a
> scout, we are talking about the "harm" caused because the scouts have
> _heard_ that someone said he hit his wife. I hope you are never involved in
> a bad divorce, child custody battle, or foster parent/teaching/coaching
> situation turned sour... where you might find out that all manners of this
> are said and all manner of accusations made against someone.
> I am not at all so quick to trash someone else's life based on rumor or
> statements of an estranged partner.
Again, I think you misread or perhaps did not see the original post which
lead you to believe this was based only on a rumored situation. It was
not, It was indeed a real situation. The writer wished that it was
hypothetical. Scouts also read the newspaper; I know many of their
parents do also. I have not, thankfully, been directly involved in the
battles you have noted above. They have occurred with some friends and
family members but, I have not been a direct recipient. I have however
been witness to their aftermath and the pain and hurt caused by them.
I have however, been a direct witness of four cases of spousal abuse in
four places I have lived. The next to last involved my downstairs
neighbors a beautiful, nice, intelligent couple except when he got drunk
and decided to beat the daylights out of his girlfriend and threaten me
with a baseball bat beating for calling the police during one of his
attacks. Strangely enough it was the one time I had not called as I was
in a "dead-sleep".
Perhaps in the NWT, where populations would tend, I believe to be sparse
even in larger towns and perhaps people must be a little more forgiving
due to the necessity of the "close-knit" conditions and I applaud that. I
wish our communities were closer knit. And I too would not trash a persons
life based on innuendo and accusations but, we were discussing one man's
problem and it was very clear he has a problem, and it is our duty to
prevent his problem from becoming our problem. I saw a Truman biography
film last night on TV and like he said "The buck stops here".
The decision has to be made and when something is rotten you throw it out
before it ruins the bunch. The guy made his decisions and he has to pay
for them. We and our kids do not!.
Thanks very much for reading all this.
Yours in Scouting,
Jess Olonoff, CM Pack-206
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City