FOLLOWUP: Divorced Parents
Michael Smith (msmith@EMST-DC.PLANSYS.COM)
Wed, 9 Aug 1995 08:59:18 EDT
Thanks to everyone who contributed comments and suggestions about our problem
with divorced parents. It became obvious very quickly that ours is not a
unique problem and also that there is no "great" solution.
In all but two cases (we have a very large pack by the way), the suggestion
to keep both parents informed will be implemented. In the last two cases, we
still need to figure out what to do.
In both of these cases, the custodial parent has extremely strong animosity
towards the non-custodial parent. They have refused to provide the address
(and even the name) of the non-custodial parent. Unfortunately, these are
the two scouts who are hurt the most by this situation (these are young
"wolf/bear" Cub scouts so the "take responsibility for yourself" doesn't work
in this situation). The worst occurrence was during a major family hike our
pack took. We had made it very clear that this was a family hike (at least
one adult must accompany the child) and because of the things we would be
doing, all scouts should wear our Pack T-Shirt, not Class As. Well, it was
the non-custodial parent's weekend. The scout showed up all decked out in
his Class A and the father did not realize he was supposed to go along on the
hike. Apparently the custodial parent provided mis-information to the
non-custodial parent (who believes that this was done on purpose to embarrass
the parent in their kids eyes. It was very hot and humid and the scout had a
miserable time (as did the father who was in dress shoes, but to his credit,
did come along on the hike).
Maybe this is just the way of the world. We just can't figure out what to do
about these situations (or even if it is possible to do anything). We don't
think we could or should go against the wishes of the custodial parent. If
that parent says don't contact the other parent, I <think> that we must honor
that demand. Also, we can't legally require two parent's signatures (though
we can ask) when only one has custody rights.
Again, thanks for all the scouts-Land help. I think we have a couple of
specific (unique?) situations here that we are just going to have to try to
work out the best we can.
Committee Chairman, Pack 160, Herndon, VA
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City