More Stuff from the Paper Mound
Settummanque, the blackeagle (waltoml@WKUVX1.WKU.EDU)
Wed, 12 Jul 1995 01:26:41 CDT
Just a short note, because I'm tired, having just finished restocking
my row at the Lowe's store and finishing up inventoring everything
we've got there.
As many of you know, I find a lot of "good stuff" in the mounds of
paper and other materials that I have here at the house. Some of it
makes its way as part of speeches I make to Scouting and non-Scouting
audiences. Some of it is contained in the book "Patches and Pins"
and some of it.....well, I don't have a polite way of putting it.
Some of it is just plan written paper that amused me and I thought
that someday that it would amuse others.
This is one of those written paper things. I took it to work today to
place on a shelf that we've been using as a backdrop for our tape
decks to play on. I wonder how many people will really notice the
I use up a LOT of Sauder Wood Products around here. Many of the
bookshelves here were put together with the Sauder "match 'em and
screw 'em" kits which are heavy as get-out when you buy them, but when
you open the package, the "weight" must disappear into thin air
because there's nothing there but pressed wood and screws.
Nothing to convince you that your aching back and shoulders were well
worth the stress from the car into the house and into the living room
with this stuff.
Some of you have REAL FURNITURE in your offices and homes. Sauder
Furniture, is composed of pressed wood chips, bonded by a thick gluey
substance, and covered with a laminate, which resembles a oak, or
cherry or walnut finish. You take off an afternoon from work and put
this stuff together (I have since learned NOT to do this, and instead
pay someone $20 to spend *their* entire afternoon putting it together
for me!) and hope that it all remains put together when you stand it
up and starting placing things into it. The apperance is great, and
lends itself to you really using it in ways it was NEVER intended to
be used (leaning against it, using it as a ladder, those kinds of
things). You eventually forget what it's made up of, because it does
stand and looks nice.
(In all defense to the Sauder Company, they offer a full lifetime
guarantee on their product and will stand behind it, quality wise.
They also warn you about using it in way inconsistant with the design
of the product. Makes sense, I guess...but when I want to move a
picture, I'm more inclined to move it leaning against the cabinet than
to find a stepladder....)
It smells like wood, and you need to protect it like wood. Unlike real
wood, however, Sauder furniture is NOT made for Scouting binders, which
can be quite heavy once you get ten or twenty (or in my case, thirty-four
of the large 1.5 inch ones) on the shelving.
The shelving buckles, the screws come out and eventually (more often than
not for me, anyway), it falls apart and you end up getting more....
A while back, I purchased a cabinet which sat in my living room. My
girlfriend (now my wife), thought that it looked grand, with the nice
dark oak look paired with the kelly green carpet that was the other
big purchase of that semester. She then noticed the small box which
was visible from the windowed door.
"Are those cassettes yours?", Jessica asked me. I nodded the "yes
way". It was hard for me to keep a straight face for too long, for I
know that curiousity would get her good.
It always does.
"I've never heard of some of these groups," she said, opening the door
and looking at the box. I asked for the box of cassettes when I
purchased the cabinet, and the salesman refused to at first, but when
I explained that I wanted to pay for it and spice up my shelves with
it, he couldn't refuse.
"Idol Wannabe....Three Way Mirror? Vertigo...Over the Rail? Johny
Money...Cash Only? Mike!!", she responded, realizing that the box was
empty and the names of the "cassettes" were only to illustrate what
CAN go there, she started laughing. "I thought those were REAL ALBUMS.
I started to listen to one of them!"
(the other cassettes were Twang Nelson -- No Dog, No Wife, No Home;
Twisted Sledge -- Hammered 'Round the Bend; The Bozz -- Straining 4U;
and Harry Thundertone and the World's Biggest Band. My personal
favorite was this guy called Ice 2 Cold and his album Brain Chillin'
A week later, we went into a record store and there was Ice 2 Cold,
on a shelf, with songs like "B**** Better Have my Money!", and other
"songs". We both laughed at the names of the songs and the general
apperance of the "album", before we left there. It too, was gracing
another Sauder product, this one an Album cabinet which opened to
reveal places for cassettes (those same ones I have at home, what a
coincidence! *hehehee*) and another one for VCR tapes.
I wonder when Ice 2 Cold will go on tour? Will he start the tour from
Goodnight, Scouters...where ever you are, may you keep up the GREAT
work and don't forget that we do this all of the future Ice 2 Colds,
Idol Wannabes, and Johny Moneys of this world.
Let's hope that we can impart not only some humor and fun into their lives,
but also some positive direction and encouragement, some self-reliance
and self-esteem and some leadership skills as they take over the reins
of life from their parents and from us.
Settummanque, the blackeagle... (MAJ) Mike L. Walton (
co-Owner, Blackeagle Services ___)_
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