Re: camporee experiences
JOAN E. UPHAM (UPHAMJE@SNYPOTVA.BITNET)
Wed, 27 Oct 1993 11:03:00 EDT
Jim Holman wrote...
One problem I hope the wisdom of this group can help with. One kid
got VERY homesick and kept everyone else awake both nights crying.
Talking and reasoning with him didn't work, threats (If you can't be quiet,
we'll have to move you off in a tent by yourself), didn't work; he was
determined to get his way and go home. He's an only child and extremely
pampered...He screams at home to get his way and it works. The second
night he was worse, so I ended up driving him home around midnight.
I don't want to lose him because I think he needs the program, but
I can't have him making everyone else miserable either. Ideas??
First of all, Jim...I would like to say that our son is an only
child and has NEVER acted like this boy; but we DO have a boy
in our troop (the middle of "3" children) who acts this bad or
worse if he doesn't get his own way. His Dad has been an Asst.
Scoutmaster for our troop longer than my husband has been Scoutmaster
and Mark either will not go on campouts or pulls some stunt to
go home, if "Dad" isn't going. Basically, Mark USES Dad to try to
get his own way within the troop and with the leaders. Just a few
of Mark's more memorable moves were:
*He insisted on going home at 10 PM from summer camp 3 years ago when
he wasn't tapped out in the OA ceremony. My husband has a strict
policy that the parents will be called and be responsible for
picking up their son if he needs to go home from campouts and the
like (homesick, acting up and not minding the leaders, ill/injuried,
etc.) but I was there and had 3 other mothers in the car with me and
we had space for Mark and I took him home (a delay of an hour while
he packed his things in the dark of the campsite and got them to
the car) so his parents didn't have to make the drive to the
camp and back.
*At another campout (I had transported him along with our son and
4 other boys), he called me a "bitch" because I told him to pick
up his gear and carry it to the campsite. My son and the other
boys heard what he said and were shocked at his behavior. Later,
his father (with Mark trotting by his side) sought me and my
husband out on the trail and insisted on an apology from ME because
Mark never said such a thing -- Mark told Dad he didn't and I was
just trying to get him in trouble. I, of course, told his Dad that
I wasn't going to apologize to his son, I was the one "due" the
apology, he did say such a thing and there were 5 witnesses to
*Most recently (this past summer), Mark (with Dad in tow) called
our house twice and then came over to "argue" with my husband
- his ScoutMaster - about the results of an special election for
Patrol Leaders who would oversee/lead the patrols at a "special"
Brotherhood Camporee. Because of Jambo Training and other events
that weekend, only a few of our boys and 2 Asst. ScoutMasters
(yes - Mark's Dad was one) could go to this event and the regular
Patrol Leaders were not available to go. Mark's name was in the
running but he "lost the election" to two younger, lower-ranked,
but far more mature scouts. He wanted my husband to "null and
void" the election and "appoint" him to a PL position. My husband
refused and Mark threatened to quit and my husband (threatened) to
accept his resignation from the troop.
Actually, Jim, Mark is still with us and he does show up from time
to time to meetings but:
- his behavior has never changed or matured
- he still always wants his own way
- very few of the boys like him in any way
- we have suggested ways that he could change his behavior to
get better relationships with others (including scouts
in the troop) and he never does change because he thinks
his behavior is absolutely fine.
When you say, you don't want to lose him because he needs the program,
that is great but you may find (over the next few years) that you
will have little if any effect in overriding effects of his home life.
As for taking him home at midnight by yourself...next time, call
Mom and/or Dad...at the least, find someone else to ride along with you.
Terry Howerton Sakima Group, Inc. SCOUTER Magazine Kansas City